STEPHEN GILLIKIN

Mod Rock

by Stephen Gillikin

I often hate myself, and I've been in several bands. Yet, despite these two coinciding facts, I've never been a modern rocker. And this is a shame.

I realize now that I never squandered my twenties by looking like and playing for those in their thirties. And why not? Regardless of whether I feel I have talent or not, that's a non-factor when it comes to modern rock.

Now, mod roc...

That Christmas, the Miserable One.

by Stephen Gillikin

It was 2005, the year of our Lord; this of course isn't true I don't think as much as it's just a stupid thing to say.  If anything, 2005 was the year of Youtube, the Live 8 concerts, and Gina Davis having that shitty show where she was a female president.

That shitty, shitty show.

For my life personally however, it was the year I was comp...

Shameless Self Promotion (Literally.  This is not an essay.)

by Stephen Gillikin

This is one of those rare occurrences where I put nearly zero effort into a post on my website (I typically put in about 13% effort.)

I've never been interested in twitter, and I still find it to be one of the more worthless over-hyped technologies of recent years.

That being said, I have recently signed up for an account.

My Celebrity Trajectory

by Stephen Gillikin

Every now and again somebody will ask you, "Whose career would you want?"

Basically, trying to get you to decide what other person you'd like to mimic.  For instance, would you like to be Madonna famous?  Or perhaps Bobcat Goldthwait famous?

Would you like the douchey "pretend to dip your self-important hands in everything" entrepreneurship of Ashton Kutcher?

Or ...

The Guy who Had that Sex Scam

by Stephen Gillikin

For five wondrous years of my life I lived in a haven, a Xanadu if you will.  A mythical land of milk and honey.  A mecca for the enlightened.  A beautiful, golden cesspool know by Angelenos as K-Town. 

Or Koreatown for those who don't prefer stupid abbreviations.

And in case you didn't catch it, I was being saracastic in my description of the place.  ...

For Those Who Eat Old Grapes.

by Stephen Gillikin

Yes, this IS something I wrote some time ago, but I've been sick (lazy) and busy with so much (uninspired).

Either way, I know I've rewatched movies that I've seen before, or taken a second glance at books I've already read.

The point is...

...Raisins just need to back the fuck up.

It's true. For years I have lived under their oppression. Under th...

How Not to Fly

by Stephen Gillikin

When it comes to traveling, do what you got to do to make it work.  As long as you're not negatively affecting me, I don't care.

Which by the way, don't negatively affect me.

Like, don't be of such decent size (which is the way I like to kindly refer to fat folks) that your arm fat or even torso fat bubbles over onto the armrest and actually hits the buttons and changes the channel while...

The One about Mexico sorta

by Stephen Gillikin

Hola mi amigos,

Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, and fittingly enough I 'm in Mexico right now.  Well, I'm only in Mexico as of the time this publishes.  Literally, I'm currently in Pasadena and tomorrow is April 21st.  Although you could be reading this anytime after it publishes, in which case I'm neither in Mexico nor Pasadena considering I don't live in either p...

Folks often refer to this minute corner of cyberspace as "my blog."  Well actually they call it "your blog" because they're talking to me, but anyway I'm not going to further this argument of semantics with myself right now.

The reason I don't call this "a blog" is because I tend to think of blogs as being like diaries or websites where people talk about what they did this weekend and post photos of their french toast to prove it.

Being most things her...

Bad Ass

by Stephen Gillikin

I'm just going to tell you right now, being a bad ass is not easy.  It takes more than an attitude, more than killer cars, and more than hordes of bitches.  And I do have all these things whenever I'm on little sleep, or am watching "Christine," or am volunteering at the animal shelter.

However, the most important part of being a bad ass is the scars.  To be a real BA you need to have stori...